The Year 2009

The year 2009 has been unique in more ways than one. It began with a rude professional shock, followed with a beautiful baby in my lap, then with a series of Zambian and Indonesian trips, then with the Firm in flux with huge changes in short spans of time and ending with my decision to move on. The year was a roller coaster. But then it began in mid-night mass in our Church with a promise that God is always with those who put all their trust in Him. And the year would end in the mid-night mass with the same promise renewed once again. Thank you, Lord, for you have chosen me and carved my name on your palm, and that your love and mercy endure forever.

The message last year focused around the Psalm, which when read for me would be as follows:

"Because Dipesh loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him
And show him my salvation."

Now when I look back, I know how true these verses have been for me. The very first week of January brought shocking news. I was with a client in Ahmadabad when one of my ex-colleagues called up to inquire about Satyam founder’s revelations about accounting fraud. News worried me since our Firm was the auditor for Satyam for long, but I could not imagine the extent of impact it might have on us. During the lunch time I called my wife. Supriya works with Satyam and I thought that she would know about what exactly happened. She told me that she got a copy of the letter sent by the founder chairman of Satyam to the stock exchange regulator from some chain emails and she was not sure if that letter was not a prank. But by the time I returned home in the evening, the news had become an Indian sensation. And it remained so for the months to come.

Reams of news print carried views, opinions, some facts, some fictions, calls for stern action, a few voices of sympathy, discussions on audit procedures, cartoons, and so much more about us. In no time everyone was familiar with our name. I had had tough times explaining to my mom and mom-in-law about what we do and why our name was so long and complicated, but all that was a thing of past. All my neighbors whom I used to try hard explaining what management consulting meant, began smiling to me mischievously and I began to explain harder. We had some fun during this time as well. Once one of the political parties with no consequence had gathered at our gates in full force and were waving flags and shouting slogans against us. We all rushed to the roadside windows from where we had to arch around the workstation walls to peep out. Someone saw that differently and clicked pictures. We all had good laugh later seeing these snaps of ourselves hanging like wet cloths dropped on a wall to dry.

Professionally, it became challenging for us to go to the market with confidence. Sometimes, I found myself at the receiving end of ridicule and rebuke. I remember one such instance when the managing director of a utility company to whom we were advising introduced me to the bidders as consultant from ‘a once-reputed’ consulting firm. There was another instance where I made a presentation to the board of directors and one of the independent directors quipped about corporate governance in PwC. I confronted but I was soon on the back foot as I did not know the details of what had happened in the Satyam case. In yet another instance, one person stumped me by asking how lightening could strike twice at the same place, referring to an earlier audit case of Global Trust bank. We also may have lost a few assignments due to these uncertainties surrounding the firm.

But there were others who put their trust in us. One of the government owned coal mining companies gave us a mandate on nomination basis, in due consideration to the several good works we had done for them earlier. We got some more assignments without having to even hear about any of the controversies surrounding our audit partners.

On a personal front, we welcomed the arrival of Bambi in March. It has been festivity at home ever since. She has grown well all these months. God has protected her from evil. She does not fuss about food and is not colic. She also sleeps well through the night waking up just once for feed. She is amazingly cheerful all the time. Her expressions, soft touches, kisses, baby-talks, curios eyes, quick crawls, shaky stand up acts, glides on the walker, and several numerous others have kept my family happy through the year. On the last day of the year, we have noticed her first sprouting tooth. My little daughter is the most precious gift that God has given me. And in her, He has blessed us immensely with His joy.

With Bambi’s birth, I and Supriya have also come closer still. Now, we love each other more than ever before. Even though we are both kept busy at home by the little one and sometimes find ourselves complaining, we do realize that without both of us in love, our baby wouldn’t grow as she needs to. We end up singing the song, ‘Bind us together, Lord, bind us together with love’ so often. Well, Supriya may still find me lacking in making efforts for our family, but I know that I have been trying hard and that I will continue to do. But we are both certain that it is God alone who can help us shoulder our responsibilities to Bambi and to each other. We pray about it and also praise Him for all that He has done thus far. We also trust that the good work that He has begun in us, He will be faithful to complete in His time.

I have also come closer to my team this year, known all of them much better. We met little less frequently this year since I was at times busy with my family, but they always stood by me in times of need. All of them turned up to donate blood when Supriya needed after delivery. They also stood in for me when I was required by the family. I must praise God for the beautiful people He blessed me with in my team. They are young, full of enthusiasm, full of energy, full of ambition, and have serving hearts. These days, with the selfish and cut-throat world around, they have innocence and have never backed from service. They have made personal sacrifices for the team, for the firm and for the clients. They have served our stakeholders well and I have been a witness to their efforts. They have had their share of pains and anxieties. Sometimes, their health have not permitted them to exert but exert they did. We never failed any of our clients by compromising on the quality of work we did. Praveen, Dilip, Pukhraj, Isha, Ruby and Parv have been a blessing to me.

The Christmas Party that we had at home was good. We had fun. Bambi did appear in her first one-act play, along with her hand-puppets and soft toys to explain the real meaning of Christmas. We had good laugh together at each other. Omkar, Bhupathy, Praveen, Chetu and others kept trying to lure Bambi into their arms with mixed results. Omkar played Santa to the hilt by asking everyone to perform cameos for the gifts he had for them. Finally, we had good food to sum it up. It was a perfect Christmas for us. Supriya and I were happy to play the host to our close friends at work.

A lot of factors have led me to move on. PwC has been a good firm to work with. It was an extremely difficult decision for me. But I kept realizing that God willed me to go elsewhere and soon. I resigned but then soon got scared of the world outside of this comfort zone. In the process, I spilled my confusion all over. My family, friends, colleagues, and even my pastor were at their wit’s end when I wavered from one side to the other. The offers at hand did not help my cause either, between them I found myself ambivalent. I withdrew my resignation, but soon began to re-assess my decision. But finally, God had His way. He changed my heart and showed that I had move out, for He had a purpose. Perhaps, in the worldly terms of salary, perks, designation, company’s brand name and such other things, I may not be able to explain my decision, but God’s promise to lead me day-by-day helped me to take that call.

As a new year approaches again, I am happy to remember my last year, which brought me near to Him. I took time to read the Bible on the trips to Zambia and Indonesia. For the first time, I finished reading the Bible from cover to cover. I attended three services in Northmead Assembly of God Church in Lusaka and was overwhelmed by His presence in the Church. I felt completely at ease worshipping my Lord in presence of total strangers, who were my brothers and sisters in Christ. God loves them as He loves me.

Finally, if I were to summarize 2009, I would quote the following stanza from a very popular song:

“How sweet to hold a new born baby
And feel the joy that she brings,
But greater still is the calm assurance,
This child can face uncertain days,
Because He lives.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone,
Life is worth the living just, because He lives.”

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(Bambi's picture on Christmas morning mass at New Life Assembly of God Church)